When we see people giving, we’re inclined to give back. We want to help others so they’ll be happier and more fulfilled. When we see other people struggling, we try to lend a hand. We want those around us to be able to achieve their dreams and fulfill their potential. But how many of us consider the fact that when someone gives of themselves, they become happier? It seems like a small thing, but it’s not often enough noted.
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Now, let’s get one thing clear: this does not mean that whenever you do anything for someone else you are automatically bettering yourself or becoming self-forgiveness just because you were nice to another person. It means that whenever you support someone else or put them before yourself, your mind naturally reacts in such a way that makes both of you feel better than before.
This is called ‘altruistic egoism’ and it’s an incredibly valuable life-skills tool which can help you forge yourself into the most authentic version of yourself possible if utilized effectively enough over time.
What is Self-Forgiveness?
Self-Forgiveness is the act of recognizing and accepting your own imperfections as well as the mistakes that others may have made. This allows you to let go of your own insecurities and be more accepting of yourself as well as others — which, in turn, allows for more authentic connections and more self-forgiveness in general.
This doesn’t mean that you’re letting anyone get away with anything or that you’re going to forgive yourself for things you may not have deserved. On the contrary, it means that you’re seeing things from a different perspective and applying a different set of standards to your decisions that can potentially result in a more forgiving and compassionate mindset overall.
How Self-Forgiveness Works
Self-Forgiveness works when you’re able to forgive yourself and accept your own mistakes. The first step is to recognize your own insecurities and imperfections as well as the mistakes that others may have made. Once you’re able to do this, you’re able to begin to accept these things about yourself and others. Once you’re able to accept these things, you’re then able to apply them to your decisions and interactions with others.
This may feel a little strange at first, but it’s important to remember that the key to authentic connections and self-forgiveness is to keep the focus on others. The more you focus on yourself, the more you’ll get lost in analysis and you’ll miss the opportunity to better yourself and those around you.
The Benefits of Self-Forgiveness
It’s a More Self-Confident Person – When you forgive yourself, you open yourself up to new possibilities of who you can be while simultaneously accepting who you are now.
This self-acceptance and self-confidence makes you more comfortable in who you are and what you have, which can result in a more self-assured, self-assured person overall.
It’s a More Authentic Person – By stepping outside of yourself and looking at your own insecurities and imperfections, you’re able to better yourself as an individual.
This allows you to see yourself as a person, not just as an individual with flaws and all — which is how you should see yourself if you want to forge yourself into the most authentic version of yourself possible.
It’s a More Compassionate Person – The more self-acceptant and self-confident you are, the more comfortable you’ll be with being vulnerable and accepting vulnerability in others.
The Disadvantages of Self-Forgiveness
– It’s a More Complicated Person – The more self-acceptant and self-confident you become, the more you’ll be able to see yourself as ‘the problem’ and your insecurities as ‘the problem.’ This can make you feel more like you have to fight against your insecurities and imperfections, which can make you feel self-conscious and ‘less than’ as a person.
It’s a More Easily Frustrated Person – The more self-acceptant and self-confident you become, the more you’re likely to be frustrated by other people’s insecurities and imperfections as well as your own — which can make it harder to let things go and less likely that you’ll get what you want in the future.
It’s a More Easily Easily Defeated Person – The more self-acceptant and self-confident you become, the more likely you are to view yourself as a ‘victim’ of other people or external forces. This can make it harder to stand up for yourself and ‘take charge’ of your own life, which can make it harder to forge yourself as an individual.
It’s a More Easily Easily Frustrated Person – By focusing so much on accepting yourself and others, you could end up feeling like you have to ‘compete’ with other people to prove that you’re better than they are and that you deserve what you have. This can make it harder to have genuine compassion for others and let go of things that aren’t as much of a ‘need’ as they are a ‘want.’